[personal profile] pook41

Title:
Back to work
Author:
Pook
Fandom: Star Trek: Voyager
Rating: PG13
Summary:
A ‘The Chute’ addition -on why Janeway led the mission.
Character/Pairing: Janeway/Chakotay
Spoilers: None
Warnings: None
Author’s Notes:
Prompt Number for fic101: 71 – work
Disclaimer: CBS/Paramount owns everything. No infringement intended.
Date: 7/1/07

~~~

“That's exactly why the rescue team won't be aboard Voyager.” Kathryn’s plan B had now become her main plan. When she’d realized that diplomacy would most likely fail, she’d begun a detailed rescue plan for Tom and Harry. Her dealings with Akritiri in general, and in particular, the recalcitrant Liria, the draconian Akritirian justice system and the craven Open Skies terrorist group left a lot to be desired. She’d informed Neelix of her plan to use his shuttle and he’d immediately agreed to join the rescue mission. B’Elanna and Neelix were now readying Neelix’s ship for the rescue mission.

“Captain?” Tuvok questioned.

“If I'm not mistaken, Mister Neelix's ship is still in our shuttle bay.”

“Yes. However, Mister Neelix's vessel has extremely limited combat capabilities.” Tuvok had inventoried Neelix’s ship when it had been first tractored into the shuttle bay at the start of their journey. The ship was old, could just manage warp four, had minimum shields, and was lightly armed with one phaser array forward and aft. It hadn’t flown for two years but thankfully B’Elanna and her engineering crew hadn’t cannibalized it yet.

“Then we'll have to be very careful, won't we?” Kathryn smirked. Her plan was a good but risky one. All rescue missions involved risk. She wouldn’t be here now if Justin Tighe and his Rangers had been too frightened to take a risk and rescue her from the Cardassians. Justin had used a bold plan to rescue her and she hoped that her plan would prove to be just as successful.

It was her turn to return the favour. The Rangers had risked their lives for Admiral Paris and her. Was she willing to do the same? She wasn’t sure but she had to try. There was absolutely no way that they were going to leave Tom and Harry in an Akritirian prison.

Although Kathryn thought that Piri had probably never had the business end of a weapon pointed at her, Piri’s accusation of cowardice struck a raw nerve in her. The last few months had been very testing for her, both professionally and personally, culminating in the Kazon taking over the ship. On Hanon IV, she’d had plenty of time to mull over what had gone wrong and where she’d gone wrong. She’d realized there were some things she should’ve done differently. Hindsight is 20/20 but not very helpful in the end, she’d thought.

Kathryn had been very pleased when Tom returned but her confidence in her ability to command had been shaken. She’d been grateful to the Kazon for leaving Voyager in such a woeful condition. It provided her with plenty of work to do to keep her mind off recent events and eventually regain some of her confidence, by interacting with the crew as they’d repaired the ship.

Now she just had to persuade Chakotay and Tuvok to ‘let’ her lead the mission. They weren’t going to like it but she needed to do this. It wasn’t only a matter of pride for her. It would by an affirmation of who and what she was.

She pressed her combadge. “Chakotay, please come to my Ready room.”

“Aye, captain.” Chakotay got up from the helm. “Mike, you have the Bridge.”

“Aye, sir.” Mike Ayala walked from the Tactical station to the centre command seat.

Chakotay entered the Ready room and his captain motioned for him to sit opposite her. Kathryn passed a padd to him and Tuvok. They didn’t have time to even turn on their padds before Kathryn launched into her plan. Usually, Kathryn used a more relaxed style in issuing her orders but not today. Immediately Chakotay recognized the S.M.E.A.C. orders group format from Command School. He remembered the countless times he’d recited the situation, mission, execution, administration [and logistics], and command [and signals] mantra like a prayer. And now he finally understood why she was pulling out all the stops to show her senior officers how well planned her strategy was and how well prepared she was when she reached the last major heading. In the Command section, she’d outlined the personnel involved and the chain of command that ended with her name at the top.

Chakotay barely followed the Signals subsection, grateful for the details on the padd she’d provided. His thoughts were solely on Kathryn. Her plan was tactically sound and flexible enough to allow for the usual surprises that are bound to occur on rescue missions. But why did she feel she had to lead the mission? Although Tuvok was 2IC for the assault and they were taking a full security section, it should be him or Tuvok in charge. He could think of at least four different Starfleet regulations and protocols that she would be breaking in leading this mission. Kathryn was the type of leader who led from the front and on occasion had been prepared to do just that but she usually left the more dangerous Away missions to Tuvok and Chakotay. There was something deeper going on. She’d seemed to get over the Kazon taking over the ship, or had she? He wondered. His musings were stopped when he registered that she’d stopped speaking.

“Questions?” Kathryn asked after finishing the orders.

Tuvok recognized the steely determination in her eyes. He had seen that look many times before. He conceded, it would be a waste of his time to change her mind and they had very little time anyway before they were scheduled to leave. It was more logical for him to brief and prepare his security team then try to change her mind. “Captain, with your permission, I will brief the assault team.”

“Fine. I’ll be down in the shuttle bay in fifteen minutes.”

“Aye, Captain.” Tuvok nodded to Chakotay out of respect as he left the Ready room.

Chakotay waited until the doors closed before getting straight to the point. “Why you?”

Kathryn sat back in her chair. “I have to. I can’t leave them behind.” She paused then said quietly, “To rot and die.”

Chakotay leant forward and looked deeply into her eyes, seeing through that smoke screen. “Kathryn. Please. The truth.”

Kathryn sighed, knowing that she could rarely hide anything from him. “To return the favour…”

“Favour?”

“Starfleet Rangers rescued me and Tom’s father from a Cardassian prison.” Terrifying and long suppressed, or so she’d thought, images, sounds, and even smells, flooded her mind, taking her back to those three horrific days as an ensign. Kathryn breathed deeply as she practiced a calming meditation Tuvok had shown her to re-focus and take back control of her thoughts and re-centre herself.

Shocked and stunned, Chakotay was silent for a few seconds, trying to take in the implications of what being held POW meant.

They both needed a moment to collect themselves.

Chakotay hadn’t known. It wasn’t something you volunteered to tell another person even if they were very close, as they were. He’d had enough first hand experience of rescuing Maquis prisoners from the Cardassians to know what might have happened to her. He shuddered at the very thought of it all. But this wasn’t the time or the place to explore this with her. He would have to wait for her to come to him to tell what had happened.

It was, however, an admirable reason for leading the mission but there was more. He was sure of it. “Anything else?”

Smiling again at how well Chakotay could read her, she pointed to the padd then around the room. “To see if I can still do this. That I’m not a coward …” Her voice trailed off. It was very hard for her to admit how much she doubted herself. The command mask hid most things to the rest of the crew but not to Chakotay. He’d been a captain and understood.

Chakotay smiled to himself and shook his head. He reached across the table and gently squeezed her hand. “Coward? No. You’re one of the bravest people I know.” How could she have forgotten how defiant she’d been and that Cullah hadn’t intimated her even after he’d hit her?

“Piri called me a coward,” she whispered hesitantly.

Chakotay could almost feel the fear in her voice as it crackled with emotion.

She stared blankly at the padd in front of her. Did Piri or anyone else for that matter realize how much of her strength it took just to don her uniform in the morning and turn up to work on the Bridge sometimes? Probably not, Kathryn thought. Intellectually, she’d known she should’ve ignored Piri but the seeds of doubt had been set. The pleasantness of their life on New Earth had been replaced by an ever increasing stress and unrelenting tension starting with their return to Voyager then losing her ship to the Kazon and now the possibility of losing two of her senior officers.

Sometimes her best didn’t seem to be enough or was she losing her edge?

Sometimes the weight and never-ending pressure of command and the length of the journey threatened to overwhelm her.

Chakotay wished there had been more time to speak about their experiences over the past few months. They’d been very difficult for everyone. There just had been no time. Kathryn had used all her energy to rally the crew on Hanon IV. She hid the humiliation of losing her ship well but he could tell she’d been hurt by it all. They’d barely repaired the damage the Kazon caused to Voyager when they’d lurched into the next crisis that the Delta Quadrant threw at them. For the last month when they’d returned to their quarters; they’d been so bone achingly tired that they’d usually eaten something quick then had fallen asleep usually in each other’s arms.

Now he understood why she needed to lead this mission. “I understand, Kathryn.” Standing up, he walked around to her then gathered her in his arms. “We’ll talk when you get back,” he whispered before gently kissing her head. He wanted to say so much more. That he needed her more than she could ever imagine and that he loved her more than life itself. That he wasn’t sure if he or Voyager would survive without her.

“Thank you for understanding. I couldn’t do any of this if you weren’t by my side.” Kathryn pulled back and tenderly kissed him. “I love you.”

“Love you, too. You’d better go. Be careful, Kathryn.”

“I will.” As she stepped back from his embrace, she allowed her hands to linger on his for a second or two longer before she walked out of the Ready room and headed for the shuttle bay. She hadn’t had the nerve to look back. It would’ve meant her undoing if she had.

Chakotay took a second to collect himself before returning to the Bridge to oversee their part in the rescue mission.

~~~
End
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